Just over a week ago we said our sad goodbyes to family and friends in Tartu and Estonia, had our last walk in the snow at -10C , boarded our plane and landed here in Melbourne with temperatures about mid 20,s ( plus). Arriving back at our house in Newhaven after an absence of 15 months  ( we were out of our house for 3 months before we left ) was a strange experience. It seemed we had just been away for a day or two...things more or less the same as we left them, but we had "lost" a year. Our two environments, Tartu and Newhaven represented a total disconnect, and we almost wondered did it all really happen or was it some elaborate and wonderful dream. But no, it did happen and yes we are home again having spent a whole year in Estonia.

So.... now that this time is over its time to reflect on what it has meant for us to live one year in Estonia. Firstly, we would like to acknowledge all those who made this possible. Anti & Karin, who made their apartment available to us for the year and often took us to some interesting place to see parts of Estonia and Estonian life that we otherwise might not have seen. Not only that,  but many happy times sharing " jäätis ja köök ( ice-cream and cake ) when they would drop in to our place after work. Our visits to their fascinating historic home in Elva, and the rides in the vintage Russian cars that Anti collects were great times with great friends. In addition, Anti helped me find a car and then made sure any problems with the car were fixed immediately. Then along with Jaano his lifelong friend, and ours too now, here resurrected my computer after numerous "crashes" after Apple had declared it un fixable. How we miss them now but look forward to their visit to us here in Newhaven in 2019.

Then Merike and Raimu. On previous visits we have had to Estonia during their spring and summer, Raimu and Merike have made their gorgeous summer house available for us. As these summer houses are not suitable for living all year around we did not stay there this time. Nevertheless we had numerous visits during spring and summer to enjoy the beautiful garden, to help water the plants in the greenhouse, to pick fruit from the various fruit trees on the property, to share a barbecue ( grill) with them or with other visiting friends and to fire up the sauna for a relaxing sauna followed by a beer in the garden. Throughout the year Merike and Raimu cared for us in so many ways. They helped us when we needed a bit of medical attention, they took us to wonderful concerts and festivals, they provided us with tickets to many events even when they were unable to attend. We celebrated Christmas and New Year with them as they introduced us to the customs of these festive seasons. Every Sunday night we would go to their apartment to catch up and to have a sauna and enjoy some special snack that Merike would prepare. Most of all they just shared their love and welcome to us "stealing our hearts" in a way that means we will always be a part of one another despite the distance between us.

One of our reasons for going to Estonia was Helve's Auntie Erna. When we arrived in April 2017 Erna had just moved into an aged care facility in Tartu about 10 mins by car from our place. Along with Merike and Raimu and Anti and Karin we were able to visit her every day or two and make her life there a little more interesting. Erna was 96 years old and the matriarch of Helve's clan. She and Helve spent lots of special hours together as she shared the stories of the families life through freedom, war, occupation and renewed freedom. Valuable stories that enabled Helve to understand more of her heritage and history. Helve, on the other hand was able to provide love and care especially as Erna went through the last days of her life. Sadly, in November 2017 Erna passed away and together with all our family, friends and Erna,s many friends we celebrated her life in a service at the Church where for more than 30 years she had been organist and choir director. We miss her terribly but we are so glad we were there to spend the last 8 months of her life with her. Not only that, but all our family had the opportunity to meet her and receive her blessing on their lives. One of our last acts before returning home was to visit her grave on her birthday and light some candles as we paused to be thankful for all she meant to us. Significantly, it was this very grave site and the very lady, Erna, who opened the way for Helve to discover her family on our first visit 14 years before.

Our other Auntie, Liidia who is 90 and living in Tallinn was yet another reason to spend this year in Estonia. Tallinn is around 200Kms from Tartu where we were living, so our visits to Liidia were not as regular as those to Erna. We did manage to make numerous visits throughout the year and enjoy listening to Liidia,s many stories of life in Estonia during her long life. Her mind is sharp and her knowledge of both the family's and the nations history are remarkable. We managed to visit her on the day we left to return and of course the parting was difficult. Liidia is now the oldest of the family clan and we feel the distance that separates us from her in these senior years of her life.

As well as family there were other friends we made during our time there. Jaano and Miao, their daughter Kati and her husband Ivo were great friends to us helping us to understand more of Estonian  life and rescuing us when we needed help or advice or a computer fixed. Our visits to their shop in Tartu centre and our conversations there will long remain in our memories as highlights of our year.

So.......what did  and does all this mean for us now as we look back on the year. It is not easy for me to put into words or to even fully understand myself what this has contributed to our lives. That something has changed is sure. Some part of our life is now inseparably linked to that land and those people. It feels a bit like a second life or identity, culturally, linguistically and environmentally distinct from our life here at home. Being exposed for a significant time to another culture broadens considerably what you consider as "normal". It highlights the strengths of our own culture and also enables us to see its limitations and deficiencies. It has made us aware that although we humans share common values in our desire for peace, happiness and fulfilment in life, there is more than one way to pursue those desires and to express those values. Living there has strengthened our appreciation for the "common" things that all races share and makes it more baffling that human history is so full of violent confrontation of one people against another. It has made us even more aware of the fact that it is people and not travel that enrich an experience like this. I have discovered that language is only one way of connecting to others and that when confronted with the inability to "talk the language" we find other ways to communicate. In my time at language school I discovered that learning a new language at the age of 75 is not impossible even if somewhat more difficult. For Helve, she now has more than a genetic connection to her land of origin. She understands more fully the rhythm and pulse of life in Estonia as it is today, and appreciated more fully what her father sacrificed to attempt to defend the freedom of his own people in Estonia's past. Our family has broadened to embrace our Estonian members, strengthening the ties that were established in previous shorter visits to Estonia.

Now the year has gone and we take up life here at home again. Will we return again? Who knows. There are no plans, but then we have learnt that plans often restrict rather than enable things like this to happen. That we are immensely grateful for the privilege of this time goes without question. If we could encourage any of you who have been reading this blog over the year to think of doing something similar that would be great. Maybe not all can find a year to live in another land, but even the regular  ' 6 weeks holiday in Europe '  would bring much richer rewards if spent in one town or village rather than the ' one day here next day there' approach that benefits the tourist industry more than the tourist.  Of course, now that we are back in our wonderful land of Australia it means we have the opportunity to catch up with you, readers of this blog, and to hear of your stories and adventures in life. This we hope to do and if any one of you have a special interest please feel free to contact us.
Thanks for all your encouragment and comments in response to this blog over the year. Most likely this will be the last unless some other surprise like this past year occurs, or unless our travels within Australia inspire me to write again.

I would like to finish where I started....Helve's family's forced exit from their own fatherland. After frightening experiences of bombing of their district, the uncertainty of whether Walter ( Helve's dad ) had survived, Lillian ( Helve's mum ) on the run with her baby daughter ( Helve ), long wait for Walter in Sweden, Russian pressure forcing them to flee again, a "war time' voyage on a trading ship to South Africa, again uprooted by the onset of apartheid in their new home and finally arriving in Australia after 8 years of "homelessness" ......... my much loved wife and mother of three children, grandmother to six and your friend....was just an "asylum seeker". She had a different cultural heritage, spoke a different language and felt like a stranger in a strange land, but she was welcomed then in 1951. Why is it that we Australians of today 2018 find it so difficult to welcome current day asylum seekers who arrive here to escape the same terrors that beset Helve's family over 60 years ago? I for one, will always be eternally grateful for those who welcomed Helve and her family and gave them a place of refuge to live and to heal from the terrors of war. They were the "true Aussies" and I want to believe that we still have those qualities of welcome and acceptance today.

Quite a few readers of this blog have suggested to me that I use these posts as the basis of a book on our year in Estonia. I am somewhat unsure whether I have the skills to attempt a project like that, but I will consider it and seek advice from someone with writing and compilation skills. Maybe and maybe not, time will tell. In any case I have enjoyed sharing some of our experiences with you all and hope that it might encourage you to visit this little land of Estonia.